Friday, August 14, 2009

Mortality

As I grow older and further into adulthood, I am amazed at my uncanny ability to "forget" our own mortality until it smacks me in the face. Let me explain... As kids we have the tendancy to think that we are unstoppable and as a result we do stupid things. Then we start to grow up and most people realize, "Hey, I'm not untouchable... maybe I better be careful?!?" and settle down. I'm not saying I'm reckless or that I jump into my days with second thoughts--okay, those of you who know me, better not laugh about that because we all know how indecisive I really am and about how I second, no third, oh wait- make that at least fourth guess everything. EVERYTHING. But sometimes I get going and enjoy life's little ride and forget that there is a time limit, just like the carnival rides.

This week we got some very sad news-- our neighbor, who has had some minor health issues over the past few years, found out that his cancer is back. At first they thought it was in his hip but after some extensive testing, they have found that it has spread up his spine and back. He's an older gentleman, but he is extremely active. He still hunts, fishes, restores furniture, harasses my husband on his lawn care and tinkers around his house. But now he can't do any of that. Any jolting and bumping around with him could break his back and leave him paralyzed or worse. He's going downhill and fast. They are going to try some very aggressive chemo and radiation on him, but we all know how that goes.

I'm so worried about him and his wife (she has MS and has difficulty getting around enough but now has to really care for him). I try to be optimistic about his treatments, etc, but it's hard because we see how it goes everyday. I can't imagine how he must feel (not to mention his wife and family) knowing that time could be severly limited. It reminds me of my own mortality. We never know when our time will come. I am thankful for everyday that I have with my husband and family and friends. I'm thankful for the ability to enjoy my favorite activities, favorite foods, and favorite scenes. I'm thankful for my ability to give and share my talents and ability to receive the love and kindness of others. I only wish I could do more.

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